www.challengesinc.com                                                                        June | 2010    

"Questions for closer relationships"

"One cannot find peace in work or in pleasure, in the world or in a convent, but only in one's soul."
– W. Somerset Maugham, English novelist (1874 - 1965)

What’s your sign? We don’t hear that question as much as we use to. Even though, many of us still take a peek at what our horoscope may predict. Recently I was reading my horoscope, I am a Taurus (I am sure that answers many questions you may have had about me!), and there were listed words of advice that are a "fit" for anyone who wants to attain and keep close relationships. I paraphrased: "Find a way to communicate with someone who means a lot to you (someone you have not had a meaningful conversation with in a long time). A failure to find a way to do so could mean a permanent loss of ever getting closer to that person." The reference to "permanent loss of ever getting closer to that person" has a special application to families in business as well.

Most families who work together in business have meetings on an on-going basis. They have meetings about business (some actually structure with an agenda but most do not) issues and unfortunately these meetings do not allow family members to get closer to one another. In most cases unstructured family meetings actually cause conflict straining family relationships.

What would happen to relationships if we really took the definition of communication seriously? Communication is an exchanging of information. Strong relationships are built and remain strong by the way each party exchanges information with one another. When was the last time you actually had a meaningful exchange of information with someone who means a lot to you? Most of us are poor at meaningful exchanges. For families in business, conversations are usually centered on giving information to another with no feedback or reply expected. Unfortunately for many families in business the information sharing also includes placing a blame for something that is not going as expected on another family member and most of these conversations remain one-sided with no reply expected or even wanted.

How can we move our conversations from being so one-sided? How can we begin to communicate more effectively in order to strengthen our relationships? How can we keep from losing the opportunity to become closer to one another?

First, we have to begin by taking an honest evaluation of ourselves by answering the most basic questions. How do we truly feel about who we are? Are we happy with whom we are? Do we transmit our anger or unhappiness to others in how we communicate? Are we trying to force others into a "box" that we visualize them to be in because it is where we want them to be? Are we so sure our way is the right way that we close off the thoughts and ideas of others?

Peace is defined as harmony. It is also defined as freedom from war. In quite a few families there are wars going on. Each member of the family is at war with another family member for a variety of reasons. Most of us do not remember how the wars got started. We only remember that someone refused to hear our side of the story, or hurt us by putting the blame for something going wrong on our shoulders, or for one of the thousands of other reasons that allow us the excuse we need to shut others off, treat them with disrespect and place ourselves before them in all respects. In a family business this lack of respect is why, in many cases, we are late for meetings (or completely miss them) and come unprepared, it is why we will shut people off and not allow them to share their side of the story and the hundreds of ways we know how to "get back" at family members for all the little hurts that we have endured along life’s path.

Communication is a real, honest exchanging of information. It is a real caring for what the thoughts, feelings and opinions are of those we need to become closer with. An honest exchanging of information is how we begin to know our other family members as adults. Honest communication allows us to know the person inside out and allows them to know us inside out as we will lower "our defensive walls" to let others in.

Getting to know people, especially our family members, must be our top priority. We never want to be in the position that because of what we have done we end up with a permanent loss of a meaningful relationship with our family.

How do we change it? Where do we begin? It is pretty easy when you think it through. "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with ME."

We have been keeping families from "killing themselves (their relationships)" for over 40 years. Once they are on track we have the expertise to help them with their operational and succession challenges. We know we can help.

Call us at 888-273-8307 and find out more about us at www.challengesinc.com

Our next Webinar is scheduled for Tuesday, June 8, 2010 at 1:00 – 2:00 p.m. EDT
Join us by reserving your webinar seat HERE

Don’t Let the Thieves Get You Down:
Protect Your Company from Internal Theft

It seems like every day we read about yet another company that is a victim of internal theft. Did you know that that research shows that $994 billion dollars is lost annually due to internal theft, or fraud, in US businesses? Today’s tight economic times are providing additional motivation for dishonest employees. Don’t let it happen to you! Find out about the risks and ramifications. Get some take away tools to immediately protect your business from internal theft.

This could be the most valuable 60 minutes you spend the entire year!

You’ll Learn:

• The risks and ramifications of internal theft
• The most common types of internal theft
• What makes a good fraud risk prevention program
• What are the warning signs of fraud
• How knowing your numbers can help you spot issues
• Learn what you can do if you find fraud and steps you can take to recover your money

Date: Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Time: 10 AM PT/12 CT/1 PM ET

Length: 60 minutes

Cost: FREE

To register: Go to www.challengesinc.com and click on the “Free Webinars for Families in Business” button.

Presenter:
Peter Miller, CPA/CFE, Principal, Clark Nuber

Pete Miller leads the fraud and forensic accounting practice for Clark Nuber, a leading Northwest accounting firm. Pete’s experience with specialty audits and his forensic skills are a valuable resource for clients in need of a fraud investigation. Pete is a Certified Fraud Examiner and holds a BA degree in accounting from Western Washington University.

Sponsored by: www.challengesinc.com Family Business Succession, Conflict Resolution Organizational Development

Sponsored by: redpoint – www.redpointcoaching.com Succession and Leadership Coaching